“Only In Cleveland” has been an oft-uttered phrase in Northeast Ohio for years, mainly referring to the futility of three professional sports franchises.
By the time the Cavaliers finally broke the city’s 52-year championship drought on June 19, all that needed to be said was “OIC.”
But with the LeBron James-led Cavs defending their NBA crown and the Indians reaching Game 7 of the World Series with a roster of returning young standouts, “OIC” should be officially retired. It should be replaced by “TSB,” as in “That’s So Browns.”
With the Browns 0-12 going into their Dec. 11 home game against the Cincinnati Bengals, the possibility of becoming just the second NFL team to finish 0-16 looks likely. On Jan. 1, the 2008 Detroit Lions may have company.
With 26 starting quarterbacks since 1999, the Browns have been the laughingstock of the league for some time. But this has been a season unlike any other, with embarrassing gaffes seemingly every week since training camp began.
“I do not like our organization being the brunt of jokes and what has gone on here, but if this is what we have to go through to get to where we want to be then so be it,” Browns coach Hue Jackson said Tuesday. “I am not going to tell you it is not hard. It is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in football in my career. I have never seen this. I have never imagined this. I never could have said it would be like this. But if this is what it is to get where we want to go, then so be it. It is worth it.”
With the Browns on a bye week, here’s a recap of the hilarious, maddening and unimaginable “TSB” moments of the 2016 season.
Basic buffoonery
• Fans hold up sections of the DAWG POUND sign out of order on Oct. 30 vs. the New York Jets. The GPODAWUND image becomes a T-shirt.
Mind-bending reality
• The biggest first-round bust in team history, Johnny Manziel, is the last quarterback to lead the Browns to victory, on Dec. 13, 2015, against San Francisco.
• By the time they play again, they will have gone 364 days (don’t forget leap year) without winning a game.
• They’ve held a lead in the fourth quarter in one game — Oct. 2 at Washington.
• A civil lawsuit stemming from the Pilot Flying J rebate scandal still hangs over owner Haslam, subpoenaed to appear for a Dec. 13 deposition.
• Receiver Josh Gordon checked himself into rehab a week before he was supposed to return from league suspension.
Mind-blowing numbers
• Seven different players have thrown passes.
• Three different quarterbacks started the first three games (five in five games going back to last season).
• Jackson was hired as the fifth coach in the past seven years.
• The running game was ranked No. 1 after four games before the Patriots provided the blueprint to shut it down. Last week it ranked 26th.
General ineptitude
• During training camp, quarterback Robert Griffin III repeatedly throws balls over the 16-foot fence surrounding the practice fields and into the backyards of neighbors.
• Rookie quarterback Cody Kessler runs out of the back of the end zone for a safety in the preseason opener.
• Center Cameron Erving, the 19th overall pick in 2015, snaps the ball over Griffin’s head in the season opener at Philadelphia, continuing a camp problem.
• The Browns take a 20-0 first-quarter lead on Baltimore in the Sept. 18 home opener, but Patrick Murray’s PAT is blocked and returned by the Ravens for a defensive 2-point conversion. The Ravens rally for a 25-20 victory.
• Right tackle Austin Pasztor is called for five penalties Sept. 25 at Miami.
• The day after Murray is placed on injured reserve, Cody Parkey misses three of six field goals at Miami, including a 46-yard would-be game-winner at the end of regulation, and the Browns lose 30-24 in overtime.
• About to score Oct. 2 at Washington, fullback Malcolm Johnson fumbles on the only carry of his two-year career. Jackson defends the play call, but Johnson is waived on Oct. 24.
• Erving is ejected for fighting in the first quarter Nov. 6 against the Cowboys.
• Receiver A.J. Green tips the ball to himself on a first-half Hail Mary Oct. 23 in Cincinnati.
• Kessler, subject of Jackson’s “trust me on this one” draft day statement, is criticized by Jackson for his inability to throw deep before a Thursday Night Football game at Baltimore. Kessler is pulled in the third quarter with the Browns trailing by six points.
Baffling calls
• Receiver Terrelle Pryor flips the ball to the referees on Sept. 18 and draws a taunting penalty.
• A week after Pryor’s “taunt,” running back Duke Johnson doesn’t get credit for recovering his own fumble against Washington. Johnson clearly recovers the ball, but the NFL uses the lack of a definitive camera angle to explain line judge Sarah Thomas’s decision to award the ball to the Redskins.
Preposterous penalties
• Twelve men on the field on defense to start the game vs. Baltimore on Thursday night forces a timeout.
• Two untimed downs at the end of the first half give the Steelers a touchdown in a Nov. 20 home loss.
• The opening kickoff goes out of bounds on Nov. 27 vs. the New York Giants.
Unimaginable injuries
• Defensive end Desmond Bryant tears his pectoral lifting weights on his own before training camp.
• Starting guards Joel Bitonio and John Greco suffer season-ending midfoot injuries.
• Cornerback Joe Haden misses three games with two different groin strains.
• Browns finally find a credible center when free agent Austin Reiter makes his starting debut at Washington, then he tears his ACL in the game.
• Rookie receiver Corey Coleman has a breakout performance in Week 2 against the Ravens, then breaks his hand in the next practice and misses six games.
Disastrous decisions
• On the first day of free agency, Alex Mack, Mitchell Schwartz, Travis Benjamin and Tashaun Gipson are allowed to jump ship.
• Browns trade away the No. 2 pick and pass on Carson Wentz, Ezekiel Elliott and Joey Bosa in what could be one of most talented first rounds in recent draft history.
• Browns waive promising young nickel cornerback K’Waun Williams on Aug. 29 after a dispute over the health of his ankle, which ultimately underwent surgery.
• At the Sept. 18 unveiling of the Jim Brown statue, a hood awkwardly covered its head.
• Jackson welcomes ex-coach Art Briles, ousted at Baylor in a sexual assault scandal involving his players, as a guest in October. Briles consults with the coaching staff and is decked out in Browns garb for practices.
TMI
• When arrested for allegedly operating a vehicle while under the influence in September, offensive lineman Alvin Bailey tells police he had several whiskeys on the plane on the flight home from Miami. Alcohol was banned by the league on flights in 2007.
• Chief strategy officer Paul DePodesta tells the radio flagship station the Browns didn’t project Eagles starter Wentz to be a top-20 NFL quarterback.
• The wallets of Griffin and his girlfriend are stolen from his vehicle in the Browns valet lot during the Giants game, and he informs the world by retweeting her tweet.
Signs of disrespect
• Atlanta Falcons tweet “Thanks! @Browns ” on Nov. 27 after receiver Taylor Gabriel, cut by the Browns on Sept. 3, scores his third touchdown in the past three games.
• Jeopardy uses Browns as an answer on which team has had 20-plus quarterbacks since 1999.
• Fan plans an 0-16 parade around FirstEnergy Stadium, otherwise known as the Factory of Sadness.
• In his obituary, a Mansfield man respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.
The expansion Browns have been a columnist’s dream, from the “runaway train” to the “teeny tiny fracture in a non-weight-bearing bone” to “Go root for Buffalo!” But in a league that promotes parity, there is something profoundly sad about a team that this season has only invited parody.
Yet as “OIC” transitions into “TSB,” part of the old phrase’s bond remains. Through it all, we’ve always been able to laugh at the follies.
Marla Ridenour can be reached at mridenour@thebeaconjournal.com. Read her blog at www.ohio.com/marla. Follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/MRidenourABJ.