Is there a name for the PR equivalent of an ambulance-chaser?
I’m not sure, but I just encountered one.
A “news release” from Andrew Weld, a public relations opportunist based in D.C., arrived in my in-box at 3:49 p.m. Monday — less than six hours after the savage attack at Ohio State University.
It read, in part:
“When the call came to aid the victims of this morning’s tragedy at Ohio State, the first responders did not cower — they ran toward the scene to save as many lives as possible. The life-saving courage of this morning’s first responders must be matched with equally life-saving medical technology.
“In the wake of today’s tragedy at Ohio State, I thought you might be interested in learning more about Celox Rapid, an hemostatic dressing that uses FDA-approved technology to stop bleeding from traumatic injuries with less than three minutes of pressure.”
No, Andrew, I am not interested in learning more about Celox Rapid. I am interested in figuring out how your immediate reaction to this horrific incident was, “What a great marketing opportunity!”
We didn’t even know the names of the victims at the time you were blanketing the country with this insensitive missive.
Winter worry
In other PR buffoonery, we have this gem, sent to Managing Editor Doug “Pinhead” Oplinger. I received my own version, with slight alterations, a few days later.
“Hi Doug,
“Picture a beautiful winter’s day, after a fresh snowfall and you decided to go for a stroll outside.
“Snow is completely covering the ground and you’re unaware that you’re walking onto a frozen body of water. Next thing you know, you’ve fallen through the ice. You don’t know what to do and no one is nearby to help you.
“Situations like this can happen. That is why it’s important for people to know how to get themselves out of it. The United States Swim School Association, the leading swim school organization in the country, has created a list of helpful tips on how to survive a fall through ice.
“Would you be interested in learning more about USSSA’s safety tips on how to survive a fall through ice?
“Thanks, Liz.”
Dear Liz: He wasn’t. I wasn’t, either, even though you custom-tailored your news release to me. Instead of being urged to “picture” a beautiful winter’s day, as Doug was, I was urged to “imagine” a beautiful winter’s day.
I will try to both picture and imagine that I am unknowingly walking onto a lake and falling through the ice on a beautiful winter’s day. Thank you.
Foreshadowing?
This is not a good omen.
While opening the Beacon Journal’s 2017 health care packet, I got a paper cut.
Real mouthful
Bob: Remember how our park system wised up and shortened its name?
While reading our favorite newspaper I came across this name in need of editing. A salute to veterans ceremony took place at the “Cleveland Clinic Akron General Justin T. Rogers Hospice Care Center.”
How does that fit on letterhead?
Pat Albrecht Bracey
Portage Lakes
Pat: Easy. Just use 3-point type.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. To listen to the latest episode of his podcast “Dyer Necessities,” click here. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31