Hamburgers.
They are one of America’s most beloved and most versatile foodstuffs.
They come with one patty or loaded with five patties fashioned from beef, lamb, tofu or whatever, and you can top them with cheese, produce, doughnuts and even more meat.
Quite simply, burgers are among the best meals on planet Earth. Among the best burgers in Akron, Louie’s Bar & Grille at 739 E. Glenwood Ave. is at the top of the list for many local burger lovers.
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Owned by Dave “Louie” Khoury, the joint has been an award-winning favorite of Akron’s burger connoisseurs for a couple of decades and it’s not just the quality burger that makes it special.
The small restaurant has a classic, old-school feel with a wooded everything and deep forest green motif. There’s a long comfy bar and a couple of TVs that aren’t constantly shouting at you.
The entire restaurant has a low-key, relaxed atmosphere making it good for casual dates, family night out or a small gathering of friends.
Opposite the bar there’s a wall of booths. There a few tables in the middle featuring various area businesses cards under glass just in case you want to find an aluminum siding salesman while you chow down.
If you hang around long enough, the restaurant will eventually be filled with the smell of freshly popped popcorn, straight from the old-school machine in the corner.
Karen Lewis, of Cuyahoga Falls, and her buddy, Christian Polcyn of Massillon, were in a booth recently waiting on another friend.
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Lewis is a 20-year veteran of Louie’s and has been playing on a volleyball team that regularly meets at Louie’s after games.
“The food is really good. The waitresses are good. The bartender knows me and it’s just easy and comfortable and fun. Not rip-roaring crazy because you have to drive home, but it’s good times,” she said.
Polcyn is not only a newbie to the volleyball team but was also making only his second trip to Louie’s and he messed up his first visit by eating fast food before going to Louie’s.
“You don’t buy McDonald’s when you’re on way to Louie’s,” Lewis admonished her friend while stealing a fry from his gyro plate.
“Yeah, then I saw the sandwiches and they were amazing looking — like, they’re huge. You see pictures of stuff and it never looks like the picture, but these do,” Polcyn said.
Polcyn liken the place to the vibe of an Irish pub.
“I like the old style, the 40s and 50s style,” he said.
But of course, a homey, comfortable atmosphere with pleasant servers doesn’t mean jack if the food makes you regret having a functioning digestive system.
The menu isn’t fancy, but honestly, who goes to a place called Louie’s Bar and Grille looking for fancy gourmet terms such as “reduction” and “demi-glace” on the menu.
There’s none of that highfalutin stuff at Louie’s. If you need your pommes frites lightly seared in organic soy bean oil and sprinkled with shaved truffles rooted by purebred truffle hogs and topped with a mango-tofu-pomegranate chutney, you can head up to Cleveland.
At Louie’s you can stuff your gullet with $5 to $6 appetizers, including area favorites like sauerkraut balls, pierogi, and jalapeno poppers featuring fun and simple food words such as “fried” and “battered” and “deep fried.”
There are some soups and salads for the fat and carb conscious and about 10 different flavors of wing sauces and a healthy-sized list of sandwiches and wraps.
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But you know why we’re here — Louie’s famous half-pound burgers, which have won a few readers awards in this publication over the years.
The basic Louie Burger is under $7 and already big.
But once you start piling on the toppings which include six kinds of cheeses and sauteed mushroom, various produce and condiments — I’m a bacon, cheese, mushroom and extra onions kind of guy — they definitely become a two-hander.
They can be so big that if you make the admittedly un-American decision to eat your big burger with a knife and fork almost no one will laugh derisively at you.
The meat is fresh and cooked to order, the toppings are fresh and yummy and when you put it all together with fries or whatever sides you prefer, you may find yourself experiencing a burger-inspired “le petit mort” by the time you finish your meal.
If you can finish your meal.
Malcolm X Abram can be reached at mabram@thebeaconjournal.com or 330-996-3758. Read his blog, Sound Check and like him on Facebook .