This is my Election Day column.
It has nothing to do with the election.
You’re welcome.
Word peeve
Bob: I think it is time to “literally” banish the current most misused/overused word in our wonderful English language. I “literally” hear “literally” so many times a day that I am “literally” going crazy.
The next time I hear someone start a sentence with “I literally …” I think I will “literally” get sick.
Hearing it “literally” four times in a recent 90-second weather segment on our wonderful WKYC (Channel 3) is “literally” too much.
Hearing it “literally” five times in a 10-minute presentation at a local high school from a University of Akron representative was “literally” painful.
People ... you’re “literally” using this word too much. Can you “literally” stop?
Roger Smith
Wadsworth
Roger: I share your peeve. But for me, it’s not so much the frequency of use but the frequency of misuse. A few recent examples from my favorite newspaper:
• In a review of an art exhibit at the Akron Art Museum:
“[The sculpture] literally reaches out and grabs you as you come by, like a bright red balloon-ish magnet.”
No, it does not literally reach out and grab you. It is an inanimate object.
• A woman bemoaning the demolition of Rolling Acres Mall.
“I remember selling Girl Scout cookies near the fountains down by Sears. ... I literally grew up in that mall.”
No, you did not literally grow up in that mall. You went there from time to time. You literally grew up mostly at your parents’ house.
• A national politician at a rally:
“We see remarkable portions of the world ... literally spinning out of control.”
Well, yes, the world is constantly spinning, but one portion of the world is not spinning more rapidly than the rest of it.
So, yes, Roger, I would literally love to see people realize what the word actually means. But this will be an uphill battle.
Figuratively.
CSI: Hudson
Kudos to the Hudson Hub for constantly brightening our days.
Under a recent police report headlined “SUSPICION,” the newspaper’s readers were treated to this:
“Non-English yelling brings police: A Virginia Drive resident called police and reported hearing yelling coming from a nearby backyard. The caller also told police the yelling did not sound English.
“No one was outside when police arrived. One of the residents talked to police and told them he was unaware of any yelling in his backyard. However, he did admit to being in the backyard singing.
“There were no charges.”
No charges? The Hudson PD has gone soft. Surely there’s an ordinance that prohibits singing loudly in a language other than English.
I would have thrown the songbook at ’em.
Figuratively.
Lame effort
Talk about a desperate ploy for free publicity!
The Beacon’s managing editor, Doogie “Pinhead” Oplinger, recently received this “news” release from a national self-storage company:
“Hello,
“I hope you had a great weekend! Just wanted to share a neat infographic with you that shows the countries that would fit inside Ohio. You can find it here: [the link reads, ‘If Ohio Were a Storage Unit, What Countries Would Fit Inside?’]
“I work directly with [name of the storage company], so if you need any additional info regarding this infographic, I can certainly provide that for you.”
Thanks, but your alleged “infographic” is self-explanatory.
There literally isn’t a newspaper in the country that would print that.
I hope.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31